When I was 9 or 10, we had a chance to go Disney Land. LA was a greyhound stop on our move from Oregon to Texas. We spent the night in a hotel that actually had a tour bus which took us to the park. That was my only childhood vacation. It was a magical experience. It seemed like time stood still. At first, we thought we had to pay for each ride in the park separately, but we realized the rides were free once you got in and all you had to do was wait in line. Because the rides were free, money didn’t matter anymore. It was true freedom. It felt good to be a 9 year old. I vowed to go back someday. I did after I got married but it wasn’t the same. You had to be a 9 year old to truly appreciate the magic.
When I was 5, I dreamed of an angel and a clown. First I saw an angelic figure full of light and brightness, in a long, free flowing form. Next a clown turned to me when the light revealed it. Then the clown disappeared. I can still very clearly see the clown’s face. At the time, I was running a very high fever but I was told the fever broke right after the dream. I hold on that dream until now. It’s a calm comfort always.
To be honest, I never thought I would find a partner in life who is as accomplished, resourceful, and dynamic as she is. I never thought we would have adventures. Growing up, my worldview of marriage was one of consistent mundaneness. Now, I am optimistic about life, about accomplishing something meaningful together. I sense there is a calling out there for us – as partners.